@CloydRivers: Leave it to the idiot hippys to adopt a "holiday" on Hitler's Birthday. Merica.
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@BruceForce: Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get "punch" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*
@StellaRtwot: I never make my guests take their shoes off at the door because it takes them longer to get out when I want them to leave.
@ToxicProbably: Jeez make one joke about putting cyanide in someone's food and suddenly they don't want you to cook for them anymore
@MadamBetteNoire: Pollen count so high, junkies are trying to uncook their meth back to Sudafed.