@CloydRivers: Leave it to the idiot hippys to adopt a "holiday" on Hitler's Birthday. Merica.
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@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.
@bourgeoisalien: Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird