@buhsbaby_baby: *leaves a "beautiful eyes" comment on all your leg selfies
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@shashaintl: A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself.
@MikeZakarian: Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures.
@RunwayDan: Sometimes when life closes one door it opens another, because apparently life is trying to air condition the whole damned neighborhood.
@ohen39: [on a romantic dinner date] girlfriend: *takes some of my fries* me: *quietly puts engagement ring back into my pocket*