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@ryanbroems: *leaves church*
*sees McChicken video*
*goes back to church*
@KeetPotato: [friends chatting in back of my car]
"im good at impressions"
in satnav voice: "turn left"
[i drive us clean off a bridge]
@BGH70: Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas 6 and crayfish 200. You're clearly not that complicated.
@funnyordie: Lots of people comparing Trump to ISIS and Hitler. Wow. Take it easy, guys! That's not very nice to ISIS or Hitler.
@lovemydogduck: If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee
@AdamOfEarth: Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101.
Today's class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you're here now, you failed.