@yoyoha: Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: You are so rude... I just hate you sometimes. When you die I'm gonna dance on your grave! Me: Not with those fat ankles!
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
@cynicanoldicus: The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood.