@Mikecanrant: Legally, if a woman is wearing hoop earrings that are as big as the side of her face, you are allowed to hurl a basketball at her head.
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@melliemeow: I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them.
@donofalltrades1: If you named your kid Hunter because you like to hunt, then I hate you. Who names a kid after an activity?. *Storms off w/ his son, Kegger
@VoNwosu: When people complain that all Cristiano Ronaldo does is score goals, I don't understand. What do you want him to do? Fry yam?
@weismanjake: One of the toughest parts of adulthood is figuring out how to stay friends with people who post too many selfies