@DBMaxP: Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
@laurenreeves: I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically.
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: I can't believe my wife left me. I should of treated her better.
Me *should have
@J_Luce3: Overslept this morning and missed church for the last 15 years.
@Michael1979: New notice I stuck up in town this morning. Are you this person?
@FilthyRichmond: Lifeguards should focus more on water safety and less on me laying eggs in the sand.