@DBMaxP: Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
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@gingerfaced: [arrives in heaven] how'd you die? me: i was sitting in a beanbag chair and my house caught on fire
@underchilde: I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it.
@Brianhopecomedy: Ugh, I may have lost my "World's Best Dad" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went.