@DBMaxP: Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
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@Blonde4Dayz: The truck in front of me is hauling a fridge. Freezer just flew open and a chicken nugget hit my windshield. Day. Made.
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.
@Dpressedspartan: (Me,after returning from exam) Mom: (Greeting) How was your paper? Me: I wrote what I knew, I copied what I didn't knew.
@NichollsTerence: I want to go on the record by saying I love my family but if I have to spend any longer with them you'll be seeing me on the 6 o'clock news.