@Vodkantots: Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don't understand how weather works.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I accidentally dripped some mustard on my newborn daughter’s forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby.
@rolldiggity: 1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, "It has to look like an accident." 4. Walk away.
@Doc_Jyoti: Women's Magazines: Pg 1. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20kg in 10 days.
@ryanqnorth: Technically, everyone owns at least one skeleton, and they all sleep with it in their bed