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@alexblagg: "Lets all start wearing weird '90s mom jeans!" - girls now
@prettysadmostly: I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks
@shadygrenade: Friend: Dow dropped 45 points yesterday.
Me: I don't follow basketball.
@T_Bonezzz: I shook this magic 8-ball for some advice and now there's cocaine everywhere
@Thedudish: My boss asked if I had any special skills so I put my hand under my armpit to make fart sounds. We laughed and now I'm clearing out my desk
@CelebrityChez: I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea.