@badbanana: Let's begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone.
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@FunnyMojoJojo: Last week I chopped my neighbour's tree and now it's growing back because his-tree repeats itself...
@joejwest: [judging dog show] DOG: [barks] ME: [ticks clipboard] This one's working fine AUDIENCE MEMBER: You have misunderstood what's required of you
@TheIronSherk: [Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?