@badbanana: Let's begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone.
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@DadandBuried: Doing LEGO with my son is like assisting during surgery. 6yo: Flat gray piece. Me: Here. 6: 5 square red blocks. M: Here. 6: I said RED!
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Café with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by.
@SuperJuanderer: If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses
@Pork_Chop_Hair: I made quiche, like a real grown-up. I feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway when he makes fire... I HAVE MADE QUICHE!