@kelkulus: Let's legalize all drugs so Americans finally learn the metric system.
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@jonnysun: BAE: wats for lunch ME: i feel like a sandwich BAE: u dont LOOK like a sandwich ME: [secretly been trying to dress sandwichly for weeks] oh.
@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
@Petote: Is that all? "I wanna stab you." Huh? "Cut your throat." What? "Drink your blood." Um. "Have your baby." Uh. "Kidding! I'll have a coke."