@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
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@SteveSuckington: [camping] "Dad I'm afraid a raccoon is gonna come in my tent and eat me" -don't be silly. It'll probably be a bear. Sleep tight.
@ericonederful: I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.
@koalaslament: I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony.
@RocketRankoon: No mister movie ticket guy that's not a bag of cheetos in my jacket that's my enlarged heart for the love of cinema