@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
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@better_off_dad: *at the confessional Priest: .'..and do you repent? Do you plan to repeat these sins?' Me: 'You mean, like, ever?'
@nbadag: [moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL
@trims_the_fat: Funny how people get all angry when you break something of their's that they don't ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.