@Marlebean: The biggest threat of punishment for my daughter is saying I'll pick out her clothes for school.

@dreamthievin: You: make yourself at home Me: *throws all the broccoli in the trash*

@HilariousEdited:

@wankcity: I definitely could NOT be a surgeon. blood freaks me out when I'm high

@NotthatAdamWest: Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered