@figgled: #liestoldbygirls I am an 18th century mahogany cabinet.
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@Burtslorp: *Jesus looks over bill from last supper* "It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver." "I got this!" Judas yells, almost too quickly.
@carlyken: [bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money