@margolundy: Life dull? Add 'or die trying' to every statement. "I'm gonna pick up milk on the way home OR DIE TRYING." Instant excitement.
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@gruffybeard: Her: I need a living will. Me: *wiping blood off knife* I've got a dead Steve. Close enough?
@badbanana: Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave.
@MyPolishFace: Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat.