@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you're on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
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@AimeeHelene1: Wait, what's that noise? Is there a dying cat outside? Oh...no...it's just a 50 yr old man racing a remote control car down the road.
@BoogTweets: More like "science UN-fair" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon
@Jacksawyerr: Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago.
@FlashShumway: Sorry man I cant come over. Im busy playing nunchucks "Dont you mean playing WITH nunchucks?" No? *tosses another nun off the overpass*