@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: Tired of the neighbors' noisy kids playing in front of your house? Sign up for the sex offender registry
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@LeBearGirdle: Me: hey famous actor Dwayne Johnson, why do they call you the rock? *Dwayne runs fulls speed at a pond and skips like 15 times* Me: OH MY
@LarryJLund: Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address.