@wolfpupy: life is a continuous learning experience, so i can spend all my time not paying attention and drawing cartoons on notepaper just like school
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@novicefather: [opens door for two Jehovah's witnesses] Ugh...ok come in. The goat blood is in a vial on the table. I'll get the virgin from the basement.
@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum
@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.
@Parker_Simpson: Studies show that people who start a sentence with "studies show..." have no clue what they're talking about