@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.
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@VodkaThursday: Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test.
@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
@BCMontgo: Sir, you can't walk up to the drive through window. [45 minutes later] *gallops up to window on stick horse*