@theshamingofjay: Life's a piano and I'm wearing boxing gloves
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@SuperTeeWhy: [A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] "Son, when-" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* "Know what, we're good"
@Ndeshi_M: Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black.