@leechee420: Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."
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@pauldame: Man: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Man: "Then why did you tell me?"
@joejwest: [deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it