@liv_thatsme: Listen, if I have to spend $14 for a movie ticket, I expect you to pause the movie when I have to go to the bathroom.
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@IvoryGazelle: me: ugh I’m so fat him: babe no, it’s all in your head me: oh great, I don’t even know any head exercises
@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
@That_Matt2: You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes..
@chuuew: HER: OMG Thats not going to fit HIM: Just relax. I'll go slow HER: If you're sure... HIM: [severely damages surrounding cars while parking]