@liv_thatsme: Listen, if I have to spend $14 for a movie ticket, I expect you to pause the movie when I have to go to the bathroom.
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@RoosterMustache: WIFE: omg the FBI ME: thats just female body inspectors W: why are they here M: probably all those female bodies we buried W: o yah lol
@FeralCrone: Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that "the haters" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power.
@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules