@andreeahluscu: Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@simoncholland: One fun thing about kids crying is trying to determine if they broke a crayon or got their arm stuck in a piece of farming equipment.
@MatCro: [emergency] [super hero appears] GUY: It's Doesn't-Understand-Rhetorical-Questions Man. Boy, am I glad to see you! HERO: I...I don't know
@causticbob: If my iPod doesn't work in the next few minutes, I'm throwing it in the river. It can either sync or swim.