@llvvzz: Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media.
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@GrantTanaka: *strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying "Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"
@AbrasiveGhost: [Opens a beer at the park] "Dude. There's kids here." Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER
@moose_chocolate: I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my tweets, like William, Shatner.