@JimmerThatisAll: Little does this young woman in the house behind mine who just closed the curtains know that it was the curtains I was looking at.
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@KyleMcDowell86: ME: Cant sleep. Theres too much going on in the world MY WIFE: Whats bothering u? ME: If Garfield didnt have a job, why did he hate Mondays?
@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
@InternetHippo: SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that’s also my reason
@ericsshadow: My doctor told me, "If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat" and that was the best day of my life.