@ZachXJ: Little kid next to me on a plane just ate the preservative packet out of his jerky, looked at me and said, "Don't tell my mom."
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@_making_friends: me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]
@just1fool: You're supposed to throw rice at new babies and their mothers, right? Traditions are weird.
@hotdogsladies: I say: "No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all." They hear: "I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."
@TayTayJustine: Look, if you can take a smoke break, I should be able to take a twitter break. It's not like one addiction outweighs the other, HR!