@MeganGetsMoney: Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family.
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@mattZillaaaa: *drops pizza slice on the floor Hey can I get another slice? *eats slice that fell on the floor then eats new slice
@Robert_Beau: The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.
@Cheese_Pile: *Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* "Here let me get that" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*