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@Adar79Angie: Joined a gym once. 12 bystanders were injured. So much blood. 2 people renounced their faith. At night I still hear the treadmill screaming.
@thenoahkinsey: *forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*
@just1fool: "Please. Make yourself at home." *Brings cat and litter box inside* *Spreads cat poop on ground next to litter box*