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@Marlebean: "I should probably start filling this thing out."
-I say about my son's baby memory book on his wedding day.
@9GAG: Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.
@merican_ninjy: "Let the chips fall where they may."
-My kids when they're eating chips on the couch.
@DeepDarkFear: Life is short. Beat it up and steal its lunch money.
@vultural: If you love someone, set them on fire. If they don't come back they aren't a phoenix and were completely useless to you anyway.