@thefosterer: lol no thanks my tires rotate themselves every day
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@_wangwe: Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
@ddsmidt: If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.
@TheRobCee: [Jr. Biology class, girls in jumpsuits burst in] OK, who's ready for fun? We're The Photosynthesisters & we're gonna talk 2 U about PLANTS!
@trevso_electric: The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza.