@theshrillest: lol these ppl "don't see race" right up until you start making beloved fictional characters black, then they're 18th century anthropologists
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@BoogTweets: Me: *Buys nutribullet* will this baby take down a vegan? Cashier: No, it's not an actual bu… Me: *loads nutrigun* Cashier: What the heck?
@Danny_McH2O: Kids, no one will ever understand you like your high school love. Get pregnant and marry them right away. You know better than everyone.
@longwall26: No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave.
@B1gBrainsMcGee: I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars