@weinerdog4life: Long story short, I accidentally left the cat in the refrigerator.
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@panmidwest: I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: "I'm better than you—but not by much."
@Ideal_Victoria: A second date is probably not likely if your date pulls out and clutches a crucifix when you enter the room.
@LionJenkins: Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile.
@CraigChamberlin: Apparently "What inning is it?" is not a valid Football related question. Sports are hard.