@anerdonfire2: Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party
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@novicefather: My wife is addicted to goji berries but I wish she was addicted to something cheaper like cocaine.
@KateWhineHall: My husband is playing Super Mario Bros with our sons and one of them is having a MAJOR tantrum. Sadly, it's my husband.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I hate when people say "you always want what you don't have" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of "want."
@lasergirl70: My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.