@anerdonfire2: Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party
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@kelownagoose: If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy.
@causticbob: My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.
@GetCougarized: I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid.
@cbme69: [Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford to get drunk there.