@InternetHippo: Look, if you didn’t want to go to prison you should’ve started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon
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@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
@LilBlueBlood: Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today.
@gorrdano: Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
@Mr_Kapowski: FUN PRANK: Put a bike lock on a bike that already has a lock. Leave the owner a note saying you guys share joint custody of the bike now