@GrantTanaka: Look, if you need a heimlich, just ask me nicely, enough of this flapping your arms and making faces shit.
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@AmericanGent69: Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor. Ok that's how I dance.
@jctwritesstuff: [Date] Me: You're a scientist? Him: Yeah M: You like chemistry? H: M: Wanna get in my genes? H: M: *slow winks* H: Are you having a stroke?
@craydrienne: Twitter: your jokes suck Instagram: your face sucks Snapchat: your life sucks Facebook: your family misses you and is also racist
@ArfMeasures: WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down