@blade_funner: Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison.
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@PaulyPeligroso: My mind's telling me "No!" But my body, my body's telling me "There's that chicken salad in the fridge."
@ArfMeasures: ME: The mugger...he called himself "Antman" SKETCH ARTIST: *puts a dot on a piece of paper* ME [shaking] omg that's him!
@AsgardianRose: To the people who have lost one shoe on the side of the road... Are you okay? How does that even happen?