@blade_funner: Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison.
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@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners
@tat2skatermom: I have a doorbell chime for text messages. I just checked my door twice. I don’t have a doorbell. Line up boys. This kinda genius is rare.