@AngelaEhh: Looking for a +1 for my wedding.
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@dyldonot: [girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]
@squirrel74wkgn: [on a date] Her: *sneezes* Me: God- Her: *sneezes* Thank you Me: -dammit, what's taking the food so long?
@AGreaterMonster: I can't take this show seriously until they address the size of Clifford the Big Red Dog's poops.
@KalvinMacleod: [pet store] COP: someone's been stealing puppies OWNER: OMG now I’m missing another one ME: who would do such a thing *shirt starts barking*