@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*
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@DaddyJew: The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
@TheAlexNevil: The Mrs recognizes my "tell" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud "A-OOGA" noise.
@DepressedDarth: That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones.