@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Every time my husband hides my pants, I have sex with him. Don't tell him I have more than one pair.
@ddsmidt: If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@Izianikapani: It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.