@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.
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@mishakey: Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation.
@robdelaney: My marriage is a mess and I'm in real financial trouble. But the McRib will return one day, and that's what keeps me going.
@Northside_Mike: Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.