@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ch000ch: he died doing what he loved: trying to put socks on with wet feet while standing next to a cliff
@TheSwanDon: Ugh I hate the bathroom at this mall. There's not a single urinal. Just a bunch of women screaming.
@PaperWash: [Jesus opens his fortune cookie] SOMEONE WILL BETRAY YOU "Uh oh" YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE 4 2 0 6 9 "Haha nice!"
@perlapell: You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.