@Chelsea_Elle: Lost my car keys so I'm forcing the guy at Home Depot to make me new ones based on what I remember about them.
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@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
@jakob_huber: Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
@fillthevacuum: Doggy day care is like a regular day care except you have to enter from the rear.
@lisaOoOo: I want you to drag me to the bedroom, softly lay me down, & kiss my neck. Now go clean the house while I take a nap.