@JermHimselfish: I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake.
@AubrieWynn88: Eiffel tower
@NYC_Blonde: I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through.
@pumpkin_horse: *cries over spilt milk*
*cries under spilt milk*
*cries adjacent to spilt milk*
*cries immediately to the left of spilt milk*
*cries diagona
@notacroc: [First ever Snail Olympics that started 350 million years ago]
Millennial snail announcer: oh shit here they come
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