@psychogoddess: How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time.

@QwertyJones3: [during sex] ME: I'm Italian, how about you? HER: Finnish ME: Ok sure just give me a second

@Lovepink1120124: Dang I didn't make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row

@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.

@SteveKoehler22: [Mad scientist lamenting] "All that work, trying to create a perfect palindrome ..wasted! DAMMIT I'M MAD !" (Pauses) "Hey...wait