@hadafewbeers: Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. "6 fell down today". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: "33 is drunk again".
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@Reverend_Scott: I'm tired of the bad jokes, dad. Doubt you can hear me anyway. I'm pullin' the plug. "...hi pullin' the plug, I'm da-" *pulls the plug*
@NikiWithIssues: Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls.