@Underchilde: Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you've thought up a good excuse.
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@tanialunreal: Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol.
@gerryhatric: A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of having left no tern unstoned.
@michaelianblack: All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants.
@MavenofHonor: This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice.