@timdonakowski: Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
@cloudypianos: what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom
@MoneypennyNaked: Me: Sorry, I can't tonight. I already made plans. Him: That's too bad. There's going to be open bar and-- Me: What time should I be there?