@LetsGoDoyers: Love your friends, crop dust your enemies in a crowded elevator.
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@cloudypianos: "someday this will all be yours" I say to my dogs, waving my arms wildly across a half empty plate of mexican food
@FatherWithTwins: My 5yo can't remember to take off his shirt before showering but he remembered that a month ago I said we'd go to the water park on Saturday
@mattsurely: Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders.
@FloodyHippie: You don't need to put "narcissist" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying.