@LetsGoDoyers: Love your friends, crop dust your enemies in a crowded elevator.
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@KeetPotato: [5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: "everything's a competition to you" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] "no it's not"
@Dexxe: These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to crème brûlée baba ganoush with caramel'.
@iRowlf: I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.