@space0tter: *Cop yells at dog* LADY WHAT ARE U DOING *dog continues to give birth* THATS IT UR GETTING A TICKET FOR *looks directly at camera* LITTERING

@4handfuls: AC changed "laughing at your gif" to "laughing at your God" and now I've accidentally started a religious war in this group text...

@JimmerThatisAll: "Where is your god now?" I like to shout at children with paper cuts.

@goofyrice: I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"

@IamEnidColeslaw: i was baptized in a car wash