@iRowlf: Lowe's banned me for yelling "From the windows! To the walls! To the sweat drop down my balls!", as I explained how much carpet I needed.
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@RealSamHarwood: Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up
@hipchkk: A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)
@charrrllaa: If anyone finds 786 barely used tubes of Chapstick around my city, they're mine. I need them all back.