@iRowlf: Lowe's banned me for yelling "From the windows! To the walls! To the sweat drop down my balls!", as I explained how much carpet I needed.
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@PanettaSexyTime: This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?