@ParentNormal: Made a pact w/ my wife that if we’re 40 & kids haven’t stopped whining, we’ll meet at top of the Empire State Building so they can’t find us
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@sarahyehia82: Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
@AngelaEhh: It'd be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
@SuperJuanderer: What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good.