@AllTheUglyTruth: Made the decision that I'm done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
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@BangMyBongo: Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, "Colonel" is the biggest liar of all time
@jonnysun: "building-building building building building-building building" (translatiom: structur-making tower makimg another structure-making tower)
@TragicAllyHere: Groom: Dude, the invitation was for Gandalf the Grey. Gandalf: Oh, it's Gandalf the White now. Bride: [fuming] Gandalf: [looks fabulous]
@RandiLawson: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi