@duplicitron: Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree.
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@lawblob: Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson
@dave_cactus: ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems.
@robwhisman: [swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would