@sunexplode: Make a birthday wish for mutant lung power then blow away your cake, your party guests, your house, car, trees, etc.
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@thatUPSdude: For Halloween I put a empty bowl outside my door with a sign that says "please take one" That way it looks like I actually had candy once
@causticbob: Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it "White People"