@shelbyfero: "Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."
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@FatherWithTwins: I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball.
@sploosk: Welcome to Insults Я Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you're not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You'd probably like that
@mattsurely: WOMAN: Is anyone here a doctor?! MAN: I sure am! And I think I can. Save that man. Like eggs & ham. W: Shutup Seuss! I meant a real doctor.
@Book_Krazy: [Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl "You mean tomgirl?" Don't talk with your mouth full.