@shelbyfero: "Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."
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@DanMentos: [first date] me: they know me here date: *reading sign on wall* "No Puppetry"? me (proudly): I'm the reason they have that
@ch000ch: i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before
@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?