@chrisanna4real: Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@leechee420: $10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!"
@LuckoftheDraw86: Me: hey what's this weird lump? WebMD: could be cancer. Me: it's a raisin stuck to my elbow... WebMD: you have two weeks.
@dafloydsta: HER: I'm leaving you ME: But why? HER: There's just no chemistry between us anymore CHEMISTRY: Wow, I'm like right here
@CulturedRuffian: Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run.